Ah! Your writing is so soothing and a comfort to my brain!
I found myself nodding and commiserating and agreeing and missing Seattle and its seasonal changes.
Today spring was here in full force. Tiny baby trees sprouting and unfurling in my yard, fungi growing on a log outside, people walking their groceries home.
I’m excited about spring. So excited. I had such a good adventure with my partner (and was nodding along to the magic of moving in with someone who has similar knick knack taste!) and now I’m back home and my life is about to go through some extreme but exciting changes that require so much scheduling.
I have three jobs I love, my children are trying a new school, and…it’s a lot. I’m hoping I can manage it all. Plus I’m so excited about finishing my novel.
It’s strange how spring compels me to DO THINGS. And winter remind me to slow down. I think this new town has a really wondrous rhythm of slowing to a near halt in the winter and only returning to full steam come May.
I know I will somehow figure this all out.
Thank you for sharing all the things!
I love that your bunnies are friends now. That is a special magic.
On our trip, a cardinal greeted us at our first Inn. I didn’t go inside until it flew away. It was so bright and cheery. It felt like a personal welcome.
god i love you so much. your voice is such a balm and whenever you share your experiences i feel warm kinship and less alone.
i am really excited about spring too. i love winter generally but by the end im so ready for sunshine and outdoor time. i've been going on walks with friends and plan on doing so more frequently. i avoid inviting people who haven't already expressed an interest because i assume for them that the drive time wouldn't be worth it. but i think i'm gonna stay asking more widely and let them decide that for themselves.
idk if i told you there's new baby twins in my local chosen family!! ive been helping out a couple hours most nights. it's been nice to have somewhat of a routine and motivation to get ready for something each day. sometimes i wake up like /fuckidontwannago/ but i just walk myself through a basic morning routine and eat something and if i still feel dread about it i text them and say i'm iffy on it and they're like totally fine with it. usually i start looking forward to it as soon as i eat something. the babies are so sweet and i feel like i cant get enough of them. and its so special to be close to my friends as they adjust to being parents. catching up on dishes and setting up bottles for them reminds me of the good part of having a job. and drive time by myself is always a good feeling for me.
I have been talking to a couple people from the circus/acro/art club community/ies (🤔🤷🏻♂️) about how much more involved i want to be but i have so many energy limits and i want covid precautions to be an ongoing discussion every values and i want to know that nobodies gonna be embarrassed of me or mocking me or misgendering me if i express myself more fully. there's a few people i think i can have all that with. they're the ones i've been going on walks with. but there's more i want that with and i want us all to do group things but that would be making a new subgroup of the community and people would have understandable feelings about being left out.. but i have to leave ppl out sometimes bc i strongly prefer being in smaller groups where i already know that i trust everyone. so ive just been putting off planning things. but it's getting warm so i can host outside and im out of excuses to delay facing these particular set of anxieties (and moral ocd?) about the best ways to gather ppl and all the ways it could be better that prevent me from doing anything at all
Ah! Your writing is so soothing and a comfort to my brain!
I found myself nodding and commiserating and agreeing and missing Seattle and its seasonal changes.
Today spring was here in full force. Tiny baby trees sprouting and unfurling in my yard, fungi growing on a log outside, people walking their groceries home.
I’m excited about spring. So excited. I had such a good adventure with my partner (and was nodding along to the magic of moving in with someone who has similar knick knack taste!) and now I’m back home and my life is about to go through some extreme but exciting changes that require so much scheduling.
I have three jobs I love, my children are trying a new school, and…it’s a lot. I’m hoping I can manage it all. Plus I’m so excited about finishing my novel.
It’s strange how spring compels me to DO THINGS. And winter remind me to slow down. I think this new town has a really wondrous rhythm of slowing to a near halt in the winter and only returning to full steam come May.
I know I will somehow figure this all out.
Thank you for sharing all the things!
I love that your bunnies are friends now. That is a special magic.
On our trip, a cardinal greeted us at our first Inn. I didn’t go inside until it flew away. It was so bright and cheery. It felt like a personal welcome.
god i love you so much. your voice is such a balm and whenever you share your experiences i feel warm kinship and less alone.
i am really excited about spring too. i love winter generally but by the end im so ready for sunshine and outdoor time. i've been going on walks with friends and plan on doing so more frequently. i avoid inviting people who haven't already expressed an interest because i assume for them that the drive time wouldn't be worth it. but i think i'm gonna stay asking more widely and let them decide that for themselves.
idk if i told you there's new baby twins in my local chosen family!! ive been helping out a couple hours most nights. it's been nice to have somewhat of a routine and motivation to get ready for something each day. sometimes i wake up like /fuckidontwannago/ but i just walk myself through a basic morning routine and eat something and if i still feel dread about it i text them and say i'm iffy on it and they're like totally fine with it. usually i start looking forward to it as soon as i eat something. the babies are so sweet and i feel like i cant get enough of them. and its so special to be close to my friends as they adjust to being parents. catching up on dishes and setting up bottles for them reminds me of the good part of having a job. and drive time by myself is always a good feeling for me.
**start asking more widely
I have been talking to a couple people from the circus/acro/art club community/ies (🤔🤷🏻♂️) about how much more involved i want to be but i have so many energy limits and i want covid precautions to be an ongoing discussion every values and i want to know that nobodies gonna be embarrassed of me or mocking me or misgendering me if i express myself more fully. there's a few people i think i can have all that with. they're the ones i've been going on walks with. but there's more i want that with and i want us all to do group things but that would be making a new subgroup of the community and people would have understandable feelings about being left out.. but i have to leave ppl out sometimes bc i strongly prefer being in smaller groups where i already know that i trust everyone. so ive just been putting off planning things. but it's getting warm so i can host outside and im out of excuses to delay facing these particular set of anxieties (and moral ocd?) about the best ways to gather ppl and all the ways it could be better that prevent me from doing anything at all