It’s felt like such a long winter! This winter I learned why people try not to move in the winter. I moved in November, barely even winter! But it was dark before 5pm every single day of my move (including packing) and I do not recommend it! Aside from just fewer daylight hours to move, there are fewer daylight hours to pack, and it is surprisingly demotivating to try and pack after work when it’s dark before you even end the workday. This taught me in a clearer way that “oh, we are really supposed to be inside in the warmth, with soup, sleeping, in the winter.”
The whole time I just wanted to be done and cozy.
Once I was done, I learned something way more pleasant – that I really love living with my partner!
This has been a really lovely season of nesting and adjusting. It’s been a very gentle adjustment. It’s been so exciting to know that every day we will start and end the day in the same place. We have so much more time to do little unplanned activities. We play a lot of made up games, because sometimes we’re filling time and not holding onto it; there’s a lot more time for creativity!
The slight pressure of hosting another person is gone, and oh my god the wonder of not being on the phone for hours a week. Not having to decide whether it’s more worth it to be home or see each other is great.
Designing space has been a very sweet process. We both have a lot of stuff, which means a lot of putting away and sorting and whittling down, and that’s been a challenge; but we have very similar taste and goals, and that’s made it all easier.
Our weird little items are more powerful together. Have you seen two cool people’s knickknacks in one place? I do recommend that. Imagine a sunglasses emogi here.
So looking forward to…
The precious sun!
I moved to Seattle partly because I loved the idea of it being rainy all the time; I love rain. It has worked out exactly as I hoped, but I do need the sun sometimes; and what that’s meant is that after the long fall and winter of rain, the sun peaking through and then sticking around in the summer is actually appreciated. So, I get my rainy weather, and I no longer hate the Sun. Win-win.
Art markets starting back up!
I saw the first Instagram post about one of the art markets starting this month! My favorite thing about last summer was the art markets. I have a couple of friends who regularly sign up to sell their art around, and so I’ve gotten to hear about more of them, and had more excuses to actually leave the house to go to any given one (“well, if I go today, I can see and support my friend!”) I’m so excited to get to do outdoor events again! The fall and winter is a pretty stressful time of trying to balance leaving home at all and worrying about germs and also being cold. I’m really excited to be outside.
I got both of these tiny paintings last year at art markets and art walks!
The above is by my lovely friend & wonderful Seattle artist Callan, @socks4hands on Instagram
The above is by another great Seattle artist, Donna Reed, @dreed12013 on Instagram
Outside!!
I get so out of shape in the winter, which, because of my disabilities, has a pretty big impact on how I feel and how much mobility I have; how much I’m at risk of weird little injuries and how much pain I have.
As soon as the weather started warming, I remembered I can go on long walks! Sit outside! Hike! Breathe fresh air that doesn’t hurt my lungs no matter how big the breath. I’m really excited to be outside.
There is also such a social freedom to being able to meet outside. Pretty environments that don'’t have to cost money and don’t feel like a germ risk, and all that. Being able to be more flexible, worrying less about how long we have to walk around in the cold.
Everyone’s Seasonal Affective Disorder Easing Up
Honestly people just aren’t in good spirits by mid-winter, and I am looking forward to everyone having more energy and more emotional capacity to socialize, including myself.
Seasons changing, but like, personally
Lovely little life changes:
Bunnies getting along better than ever
The rabbits have been so sweet together lately! They’ve been grooming each other’s faces, which is a sign they are finally fully bonded! They were honestly in a “tolerating each other” state for ages, which I’ll write more on later. It’s been a lovely time of seeing their friendship get much stronger. They have acted like brothers in all of their stages, but finally Tilly is over his only-child anger and Tiramisu has someone to clean behind his ears.
Doing yoga again, and it’s going well, actually?
Oh my goodness - I haven’t had room to do yoga or any exercise in about two years. I lived in a studio apartment before this, and it wasn’t practical. Now the bunny room/office/creative space has good empty floor space, and I am finally doing it again!
It’s been so wonderful and reassuring that it hasn’t been difficult (at least at the “beginner” level I was always at). The first time I started doing yoga, two or three years ago, I was suffering. No matter how small and gentle I started, literally just doing something chill for 15 minutes felt torturous, on top of how hard it was to try and stretch my horribly tense muscles. Even the lying still at the end was awful! I was so, so anxious.
As I started this time, I found that there was no anxiety at all. I enjoy sitting quietly now, most of the time. Spending time on physical movement feels good, and not scary. I am still flexible, because this taught me how to be a person who stretches. At some point in my life, I had slowly suppressed whatever instinct people have to stretch. I was baffled to learn people just do that without thinking about it. I got it back though! And now when I have rising muscle pain, I do actually remember to stretch.
So now, all those beginner moves that used to feel impossible now either feel easy or doable enough—I can feel what part of it is helpful and the full stretch can be a goal. I can’t believe after two years, I’m fine. I’m grateful that I learned this very life changing skill. It shows how much my mental health has improved, too. I’m basking in peace about it.
Floor time
Floor space means yoga space, but it also means bunny time space! I’ve been having a delightful time lying on the floor and petting rabbits, or just reading or writing while they hop around or sit near me.
Goals
It’s a good season so far - I hope it just keeps getting better.
I have some creative goals:
To finish at least one piece of fiction
To spend at least a couple hours a week on jewelry. I really want to jump into this as a major skill and hobby to invest in, but I keep waiting for “a good time.”
And some general goals:
To remember my friends exist, and see them on weeknights. It hurts my eyes to drive in the dark, so now that the sun is setting later, I have much more freedom to do things in the evening. I am also less in soup hibernation mode. Hopefully.
To schedule things to do on weeknights in general—it’s depressing to collapse after work. I need to alternate rest & activity a little better.
That’s all! Thank you for reading.
I’d love to hear from you!
You can reply directly to this email, leave a comment, or email me at michaelzzakiwrites@gmail.com
Tell me about your spring! What are you looking forward to? Enjoying? Nervous about?
Tell me about a good animal you saw recently—like a dog, or a particularly fluffy squirrel, or a bird, or a bunny…
Are you working on a personal project you’re excited about?
What are your feelings about springtime? I know for some people it’s joy and others it’s pollen, ha. Maybe both?
Thank you for reading!
Ah! Your writing is so soothing and a comfort to my brain!
I found myself nodding and commiserating and agreeing and missing Seattle and its seasonal changes.
Today spring was here in full force. Tiny baby trees sprouting and unfurling in my yard, fungi growing on a log outside, people walking their groceries home.
I’m excited about spring. So excited. I had such a good adventure with my partner (and was nodding along to the magic of moving in with someone who has similar knick knack taste!) and now I’m back home and my life is about to go through some extreme but exciting changes that require so much scheduling.
I have three jobs I love, my children are trying a new school, and…it’s a lot. I’m hoping I can manage it all. Plus I’m so excited about finishing my novel.
It’s strange how spring compels me to DO THINGS. And winter remind me to slow down. I think this new town has a really wondrous rhythm of slowing to a near halt in the winter and only returning to full steam come May.
I know I will somehow figure this all out.
Thank you for sharing all the things!
I love that your bunnies are friends now. That is a special magic.
On our trip, a cardinal greeted us at our first Inn. I didn’t go inside until it flew away. It was so bright and cheery. It felt like a personal welcome.
god i love you so much. your voice is such a balm and whenever you share your experiences i feel warm kinship and less alone.
i am really excited about spring too. i love winter generally but by the end im so ready for sunshine and outdoor time. i've been going on walks with friends and plan on doing so more frequently. i avoid inviting people who haven't already expressed an interest because i assume for them that the drive time wouldn't be worth it. but i think i'm gonna stay asking more widely and let them decide that for themselves.
idk if i told you there's new baby twins in my local chosen family!! ive been helping out a couple hours most nights. it's been nice to have somewhat of a routine and motivation to get ready for something each day. sometimes i wake up like /fuckidontwannago/ but i just walk myself through a basic morning routine and eat something and if i still feel dread about it i text them and say i'm iffy on it and they're like totally fine with it. usually i start looking forward to it as soon as i eat something. the babies are so sweet and i feel like i cant get enough of them. and its so special to be close to my friends as they adjust to being parents. catching up on dishes and setting up bottles for them reminds me of the good part of having a job. and drive time by myself is always a good feeling for me.