What is this?

I'm actually asking you!

So, I write this and I have written similar things for over a decade now. I've written what I've explicitly called a blog, or at times just “posting”; I've called these essays, newsletters. I know what I'm trying to do - share my thoughts that I think maybe someone would care to read. I'm also just getting those thoughts out of my head, the fog of ideas, into words, and I hope it helps others get the fog into words, if they'd like to.

When people in person ask what I write or write about, I always hesitate and stumble. I don't know a quick summary that doesn't immediately make me feel silly. I never know what people imagine about what a blogger is. I'm not sure what they think an essay or essayist is. How do I communicate that actually I yearn to be a philosopher but I just feel unqualified?

If I say essays, people usually ask what about, and “I don't know, whatever seems interesting” feels inadequate as an explanation, so I don't usually say that.

I have a loud memory of being about 12 years old and one of my friends saying “You and your ‘theories’” with a slightly tired laugh.

I have always wanted to share my social observations and conclusions about what I thought they meant, which as a kid I started with “I have a theory…” and as an adult I start with some kind of headline, because that's what writers often do with their social theories.

“I write up my own conclusions and and experiences, and approximately 20 to 30 (or ultimately, at least one) people care, so I keep doing it,” feels like a very nonprofessional answer, but it is the truth.

Should I say that? What would you call this, if you've read a few of my emails? Do I have a genre? What's the trendy term? I don't feel like a blogger anymore.

Am I asking friends and strangers who am I? Maybe.

Leave a comment or send me an email! michaelzzaki.writes@gmail.com

Also if you have any topics you'd be interested in my thoughts on, please let me know!! Someone did that recently and it is so nice! And it's even cooler if you wanna say what you think too.

Thanks all <3